Breaking the Rules
If pigeons are “rats with wings,” the fellow below (a scruffy Herring Gull) is a “wolverine with wings.”
In general, seagulls are opportunistic, ravenous, indiscriminate brutes with 4’ plus wingspans. And that leads us into today’s entry...
For almost all of my life, I’ve been an “on-again, off-again amateur quahogger.” (An amateur quahogger is a “derned fool” who chooses to wade out into the muddy brine and, using a special rake, “scratch” for hard-shelled clams. For me this usually involves profoundly leaky boots and profoundly leaky gloves in conjunction with profoundly cold winter months. See what I mean by “derned fool?”)
Anyway, company is scarce during such crazy adventures except for that occasional gull that stalks the newly turned flats or better yet, the unattended clam basket. Give one of those guys a fraction of half a chance and he’ll raid the freshly-turned mud (or your basket) and then head for a “clam drop” on the nearest jetty to crack open his ill-gotten booty. That’s nature; that’s the way it always works. And so it was one day not too many years ago until nature went all kittywumpus. The gull found a clam that I had missed, snatched it up, and tried to drop it on the jetty. Only this time his aim was off, and the bivalve bounced harmlessly off some seaweed and into the shallow water from which I hurriedly retrieved it. “Aha, for once I win!” I thought as I headed back towards my basket. But suddenly there were a few flaps and a solid “thump” behind me. I turned to encounter a very indignant bird standing on the beach just 20’ away. His head was bobbing up and down and turning side to side, and he was very clearly swearing at me in gutter “Gullish.” It was comically clear that I’d broken all the rules – I’d stolen from the master thief. And then something really weird happened - the bird charged me. And it wasn’t flying or flapping its wings. The assault was a trundling, headlong charge towards a 180-pound man with a 6’ clam rake by a 3-pound bird. And the only thing dumber than the bird on the flats that day was me – I just stood there and incredulously asked the creature what it was doing. (Where’s a video camera when you need one?) Anyway, the charge broke off when I lowered the rake to a guard position with the seagull just 5’ away. It turned, made a few undoubtedly obscene bird gestures and utterances, and waddled back out of the kill zone. But it continued to follow me down the beach as I called it quits for the afternoon.
Seriously, the story above is true. The fellow wanted to go “ala a mano”.
Only on Cape Cod,
See you by the feeders if I don’t get mugged...
CapeCodAlan
P.S. You know, that little "Comments" button below can come in mighty handy!
In general, seagulls are opportunistic, ravenous, indiscriminate brutes with 4’ plus wingspans. And that leads us into today’s entry...
For almost all of my life, I’ve been an “on-again, off-again amateur quahogger.” (An amateur quahogger is a “derned fool” who chooses to wade out into the muddy brine and, using a special rake, “scratch” for hard-shelled clams. For me this usually involves profoundly leaky boots and profoundly leaky gloves in conjunction with profoundly cold winter months. See what I mean by “derned fool?”)
Anyway, company is scarce during such crazy adventures except for that occasional gull that stalks the newly turned flats or better yet, the unattended clam basket. Give one of those guys a fraction of half a chance and he’ll raid the freshly-turned mud (or your basket) and then head for a “clam drop” on the nearest jetty to crack open his ill-gotten booty. That’s nature; that’s the way it always works. And so it was one day not too many years ago until nature went all kittywumpus. The gull found a clam that I had missed, snatched it up, and tried to drop it on the jetty. Only this time his aim was off, and the bivalve bounced harmlessly off some seaweed and into the shallow water from which I hurriedly retrieved it. “Aha, for once I win!” I thought as I headed back towards my basket. But suddenly there were a few flaps and a solid “thump” behind me. I turned to encounter a very indignant bird standing on the beach just 20’ away. His head was bobbing up and down and turning side to side, and he was very clearly swearing at me in gutter “Gullish.” It was comically clear that I’d broken all the rules – I’d stolen from the master thief. And then something really weird happened - the bird charged me. And it wasn’t flying or flapping its wings. The assault was a trundling, headlong charge towards a 180-pound man with a 6’ clam rake by a 3-pound bird. And the only thing dumber than the bird on the flats that day was me – I just stood there and incredulously asked the creature what it was doing. (Where’s a video camera when you need one?) Anyway, the charge broke off when I lowered the rake to a guard position with the seagull just 5’ away. It turned, made a few undoubtedly obscene bird gestures and utterances, and waddled back out of the kill zone. But it continued to follow me down the beach as I called it quits for the afternoon.
Seriously, the story above is true. The fellow wanted to go “ala a mano”.
Only on Cape Cod,
See you by the feeders if I don’t get mugged...
CapeCodAlan
P.S. You know, that little "Comments" button below can come in mighty handy!
