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The Great Haiku and Algebra Bird Feeder Contest!

Yeah, I warned you that this was going to be the weirdest contest yet. I always keep my promises... That's right... We're talking about a contest based on goofy bird haikus and algebra.

First, here's the prize:

Contest%205%20prize.jpg


Looks like a pretty slick Post Mount Blue Bird Feeder!

Now about the contest... Here's the two part challenge...

Part 1:
You need to write a funny, "American-style" bird haiku. And what is an "American-style" haiku you ask? Glad you asked! Well, the haiku is a form of poetry that originated in Japan long ago. In its American form (at least for the sake of this contest), it is a short, three-line poem with the first and third lines consisting of 5 syllables, and the second line consisting of 7 syllables. Further, the last line should offer some sort of subtle closure for the first two lines. And on top of that, it has to be funny. Here're two examples...

Stupid bird haiku
Just first part of dumb contest
I hate algebra


-Or-


A lonely sparrow
Pines for his mystery mate
Old Hank sings sad songs


You get the idea... It doesn't have to revolve around this blog... It just needs to involve birds and be funny.

Part 2: In a way, this is pretty easy really... All you need to tell me is what is the cube root of the product of one third and one ninth. The problem is shown below...

Full%20cube%20root.JPG

Your answer should be in the form of a single fraction, (e.g. 1/4). Decimal answers are unacceptable.

Scoring: Awww... You're going to love this. The haiku will be based on a -3 to 3 scale.
  • -3 points: Not a valid haiku
  • -2 points: A valid haiku that is irrelevant to this contest
  • -1 points: A valid haiku that is relevant to this contest but simply isn't funny at all
  • 0 points: A haiku that is relevant to this contest, but "ho hum" funny in a "bird" sort of way
  • 1 point: A haiku that is mildly funny and deals with birds
  • 2 points: A haiku that deals with birds and is really funny
  • 3 points: A haiku that deals with birds and is truly hilarious
Now... What about that algebra question... That's a spoiler! The math question is based on a -1 to 0 scale. If you get the question wrong, you lose a point. (Try to avoid going into negative points!)

Rules
  • Use the comment function on this post to enter both a single "funny, bird-related" haiku and a single fractional answer.
  • Enter as many times as you like using separate comments. But each entry needs to have a new haiku (which will be rated on its own merits) and a single fractional answer. (Obviously, if you're sure that you've got the right fraction, you can use the same fraction over and over again. But I'll be adding up the wrong ones!)
  • Dictionary.com will be used to verify syllable counts.
  • Scores will be tallied for each contestant throughout the contest.
  • The winner will have the highest number of points. In the case of a tie, a random drawing will be used.
  • Only rated “G” comments/entries are allowed.
  • Entries made by eBirdseed employees and/or their families will not be eligible for prizes.
  • All decisions made by the judges at eBirdseed.com are final.
  • The contest starts as soon as this post goes live. (That is, if you’re reading this, the contest has begun!)
  • The contest will end 11:59PM EST, Friday, August 3rd, 2007.
  • *As always, eBirdseed will pay for the shipping of the winning prize to anywhere in the continental U.S.
Some final words about the contest... I chose these two subjects (algebra and haiku) very carefully; I doubt that there are many dual English/Math grads out there. The idea was to force you into working with your neighbors and each other to survive in the contest. Lastly, I will publish the haikus as you enter them, but I won't publish the fractional answers until the contest is over - that will give you a good chance to check and recheck your answers!

See you by those tricky feeders,

CapeCodAlan

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Comments

Okay here goes.

Wing flaps and stretches
Robins toss water on backs
Filled Birdbath now empty

{CCA replies: Not a valid entry Joni... Each comment must have a unique, funny, bird haiku AND a fractional answer... So no points gained, and none lost. But try again!}

Cube root Of 1/3 is 1/1

Cube root of 1/9 is 1/3

{CCA replies: We need a unique haiku and a single fractional answer in each comment... No points lost or gained.}

The cube root in the math problem is ANSWER

On nights of full moons
The sky is usually
Chock full of loonies.

{CCA replies excellent haiku! +2}

Cube root is ANSWER.

This haiku goes with a photo forwarded to Cape Cod Alan by e-mail -- a Western Gull stands on a restaurant table holding in its beak two small desert cups.


Table top sea gull
Bus my table, Mister Gull,
Fly those plates away!

{ CCA says: Excellent haiku... Check out Kathryn's photo using the link below...! +3

http://www.flickr.com/photos/capecodalan/860640793/ }

Thanks for posting the photo, Alan!

Humming birds at flowers
cat below is watching they
all search a nice meal

cube root is ANSWER

{CCA replies Doh! This is not a valid haiku...

-3 points...

But try again... There's still plenty of time!}

Are the birds smarter?
People ID, public math
requires no google

The answer to the math problem, solved by google is FRACTIONAL ANSWER or SPELLED ANSWER or DECIMAL ANSWER....

{CCA replies: Not a valid entry... Valid entries must consist of a single haiku and a single fractional answer... Now if you'd care to re-submit with a single haiku and just a single fractional answer, you might just be on to something...}

a small penguin
looking at a smart steward,
are you my daddy?

Cube root is ANSWER

{CCA cries, "Oh no!" According to http://www.dictionary.com
"penguin" only consists of 2 syllables... Doh!

-3... Come on Detlef... You've got the touch!}

Aw gee.

Too many answers
Cause a bad poet to blush
The birds ARE smarter

Math problem answer is ANSWER.

{CCA answers... Excellent! +3}

a little penguin
starring at a smart stewart
are you my daddy?

Cube root is ANSWER


Second try :-)

{ CCA judges +2... Now you're rolling! (But check that spelling...)}

humming birds buzzing
cat below is watching them
all search a nice meal

ANSWER


Hope this is better this time :-)

{CCA replies: Bingo! +2}

birds hate algebra
they rather love seeds than roots
no fingers for count

Cube root is ANSWER

{ CCA replies +2... Watch out world... Monika is on a roll! }

Haiku:
Bird watches from tree
Human sits below, bird aims
Splat! Target was hit!

Math answer: ANSWER

{CCA: +3}

The cube root of 1/3 X 1/9 is ANSWER

Bluebird flock gathers
plump worms bring baby feathers
It takes a village

{ CCA replies: +2... Funny and beautiful.}

algebra problem
which causes my head to smoke
look like barn-swallow

Cube root is ANSWER

{CCA: Nice... +3}

albatross landing
in winter on icy lake
ice dancing star born

Cube root is ANSWER

{CCA: Excellent! +3}


Cube root of 1/3 X 1/9 is ANSWER.


Wing flaps and stretches
Feisty plump Robin bathing
Waterfalls for ground

{CCA: You're getting there... Think funny... +1}

Cube root is ANSWER

Ruby red throat dive
Flutter like a butterfly
Chase those big sparrows

{CCA: Pretty good... +2}

Cube root is ANSWER

Robins sun basking
Hungry fast cat on the prowl
Loves BASKIN ROBINS

{CCA... NOW you're dialed in Joni! That is GREAT! FANTASTIC! +3}

Chest dips, droplets flip
Happy splashes,shallow waves
Birds bathe in the sun

Math problem answer is still ANSWER

{ CCA replies... Let's call this one a +1... Remember... We're looking for funny! }

Where went the dog hair?
Brushed and tossed into the shrubs
See nests softly lined

Math problem solution is still ANSWER.

{Beautiful... But needs humor... 0... CCA}

My bird ate my math
Torn to shreds by eager beak
Parrots are trouble!

Good thing I can remember the answer to the problem is ANSWER.

{CCA says, "Now you're cooking! +3!}

Geese flock to river
I follow close for photos
On a wild goose chase

Answer: ANSWER

{CCA: Super! +3}

bird food delivered
human was wondering why
Parrot has ordered

Cube root is ANSWER

{CCA delivers +2}

blackbird has spoken
but I didn`t listen him
change to summertime

Cube root is ANSWER

(sorry-- forgot the maths answer when sending first...)

{CCA adds +1 to Monika's score}

girl walking along
hears loud whistle from above
kookaburra laughs

cube root is ANSWER

{CCA laughs +2}

two birds on struggle
tugging worms without success
one worm - two wranglers

cube root is ANSWER

{From CCA... +2}


woodpecker builds house
suddenly big crash downwards
beaver was faster

Cube root is ANSWER

(aaarrrrghh.... I`m seriously infected by the haiku-making-virus... can`t get it out of my mind anymore....THANKS!!!)

{CCA... +2... I know what you mean... In college, we had to write these things by the dozen.}

car alarm shrilling
no car thief can be noticed
Mocking bird giggles

cube root is ANSWER

{I think we've got us a "haiku addict" here folks! +2}

Pretty flamingoes
dancing in a perfect line
training for ballett

cube root is ANSWER


grmpf... it`s really hilarious... can`t get the bird-haiku-things out of mind any more...

{CCA replies... +1...

Note to all... Be sure to watch your spelling please... We can live with misspellings, but not if they mess up your syllable count...

Now, go get 'em Monika!!!}

roadrunner on flight
trys to avoid to end as
coyote`s fast food

cube root is ANSWER

{CCA: Beep Beep! +3}

sorry about the additional t on ballett....that`s when a german girl trys to create haikus in english and mixes languages...

SOOOOOORRRRYYYY!

{LOL... No problem whatsoever! I just don't want anyone to misspell so badly that they loose points... You're doing fine!

CCA}

bird feeder swinging
feather fly no bird in sight
cats do love bird food


cube root is ANSWER

Hmpf.... and that happens when cat people do create bird haikus :-)

{Hmpf indeed... I have no info relative to the commenter's identity... Invalid entry, 0 points. CCA}

bird feeder swinging
feather fly no bird in sight
cats do love bird food


cube root is ANSWER


Sorry.... me again.... forgetting the informations is a sign of "Haiku-over-feed"... have to go to bed ;-)

and...
one last haiku for today...
not as entry for the contest - just for Alan

boat building buddies
missing bird haiku contest
cat people smarter

:-)
Monika

{CCA responds... Hmmm... +2}

Flap flap those big wings
No deodorant for birds
Air out those arm pits

Math problem: ANSWER

{CCA: +3}

Flex that superb beak
Strut those peacock tail feathers
Court the lady birds

Math problem: ANSWER

{CCA: +2}

Garden of green plants
Catbird plays and eyes roll back
Catnip is the best

Math: ANSWER

{CCA... Absolute +3!}

Cat watching the owls
Watching tirelessly with hope
Owls don't give a hoot!

Math answer: ANSWER

{CCA: And Teresa joins the fray! +3}

Shake beak to the left
Spread wings high and spin around
Poultry line dancing

Math: ANSWER

{FANTASTIC!!! +3... CCA}

Flying nice and free
Soar straight into glass window
Windex is evil

Math: ANSWER

{CCA replies "Clearly a +3!}

The cube root is ANSWER

The mockingbird twills
Smugly sits high on a house
Where loud siren shrills

{CCA shrieks +2.}

The cube root is ANSWER

Happy robins peck hop
Listen earthworms underground
Breakfast at IHOP

{CCA: Owe... That ain't a valid haiku! -3...}

That's what I get for changing the Haiku just before posting.

The cube root is ANSWER

Robins peck and hop
Listen earthworms underground
Breakfast at IHOP

{Great! +3... Keep 'em coming... CCA}

knocks on the doorfront
open door nobody there
woodpecker knocking

Cube root is ANSWER

{Monika is racking up the points! +2 CCA}

canary staggers
it seems he had too many
yellow birds drunken

Cube root is ANSWER

{CCA: Hmmm... +1}

Kangaroo shivers
stays two weeks with penguin mum
exchange of students

Cube root is ANSWER

{Perfect!!! +3... CCA}

two birds wondering
he`s fast 'caus his tail burns
watching a jet plane

cube root is ANSWER

hope you like it...

{I like it a lot, but dictionary.com doesn't... "he's" consists of only one syllable... Which means that the second line contains only six syllables... Bummer! -3... CCA}

grumpf... so... second try to equalize the -3

two birds wondering
he is fast 'caus his tail burns
watching a jet plane

cube root is ANSWER

{CCA: That's the ticket! +3}

Hens look in showcase
admiring pretty eggcups
wonderful strollers

Cube root is ANSWER

{CCA: Looks like Monika is in a Haiku FEVER! +2}

pssstttt.... don`t betray me *g*

birds flying southwards
why are we following him?
he has the road map

cube root is ANSWER

{Looks like a +2... CCA}

Bird's-eye haiku:

What are those creatures?
They point, stare, yell and laugh, but
They can't soar like us!

Answer:ANSWER

{ Way to go Kathryn!!! +2... CCA}

That crows looks vicious
What is he going to do
Try to stare me down

Math answer is INCORRECT ANSWER

{That looks like a +1 minus 1 because of the incorrect math... 0 final... But try again!

CCA}

I ran to pay cash
A-huffin and a-puffin
The bill was too big

Math - ANSWER

{CCA: EXCELLENT! +3}

Parrot listening
mom bumped her head hard today
I learned a new word

Cube root is ANSWER

{CCA: Ok, That's a +2!}

end of october
turkeys waiting at bus stop
halloween's coming

Cube root is ANSWER

{Perfect! +3... CCA}

bird watcher watching
waiting for birds at flower
humming birds faster

Cube root is ANSWER

{Monika "The Haiku Machine" scores another 2 points!... CCA}

Seems like it's come to
Plays on words and cartoon scenes
Missing true bird traits

Answer: ANSWER

{+1... CCA}

peacock tries to brag
his wheel brighter as fireworks
cock-and-bull-story

cube root is ANSWER

{CCA: +2}

Put your right wing in
And you shake it all about
The Turkey-Lurkey

Math answer = ANSWER

{Ouch... +3 CCA}

Flamingos stand on
One leg because they can't pick
Up the other one

Math answer = ANSWER

{CCA: +2}

Poetry is great
But a "funny bird Haiku"
Never heard of one

Answer = ANSWER

{CCA: +1}

Let me count the ways
That birds are so amazing
One, two, three, four, five

Math answer = ANSWER

{CCA says +3--excellent!}

Flickers on my hill
Help yourself to all the ants
You're very welcome

Math answer = ANSWER

{CCA: +2}

sweet corn on the field
huge invasion of black birds
scarecrow for selling

Cube root is Answer

{CCA... +2}

fox hunts real hungry
white bird hiding silently
goose having gooseflesh

Cube root is ANSWER

{Monika just rolls on... +2}

ANSWER

Mynah's raucous call
Wrinkles Tuesday's morning calm
Welcoming the day

{Good job Craig... Keep 'em coming and pour on the humor... +2... CCA}

A Hummingbird Day
Blue Jay near sugar feeder
Hummer chased Jay

{CCA replies: Invalid entry... No math answer. 0 points.}

A Hummingbird Day
BlueJay near sugar feeder
Hummer chases Jay

the cube root is ANSWER.

{Hmmm... That's about a +1... Need funny!}

Ostrich digs in sand:
"You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head."

Cube root is ANSWER

{CCA: +1... Need more funny}

flask lid always open
milk man delivers daily
a great tit feeder

cube root is ANSWER

{Ouch... The first line has six syllables... That makes for a valid entry with an invalid haiku... -3}

these points went into the wrong direction %-(

next try...

Flask lid unbolted
milk man delivers daily
a great tit feeder

Cube root is still ANSWER :-)

{There you go! +2... CCA}

golf players watch out!
what`s better than a birdie?
eagle on golf course

Cube root is ANSWER

{Nice... +3 CCA}

boat-builders hurry!
haiku-contest ending soon
mealworms on the run

Cube root is ANSWER


My last bird haiku! I promise!

Thanks Alan, it was really fun... now I have to try hard to get it out of my brain again ;-)

{CCA: EXCELLENT work Monica! +3}


Spring is in the air
Puffin lands on springy coil
Sprung into the air

Math: ANSWER

{CCA: +2}

Decoy set on hill
Looks very much oh so real
Decoy just quacked loud

Math: ANSWER

{Me thinks Jen is on a tear! +2}

Bird won't be quiet
Bird is constant complainer
Sounds like my mother

Math: ANSWER

{And Jen is off to the races! +3}

Rockin' robins dance
All the night long, round and round
Wear long poodle skirts

Math: ANSWER

{Rockin Jen is kickin' into gear! +2... CCA}

Blackbird makes a mess
He drops feathers all around
Blackbird needs a maid

Math: Answer

{Looks like Jen is cleaning up! +2... CCA}

Chickadee pecks ground
Runs wild in the open range
Smacks into hen house

Math: ANSWER

{CCA: +2}

Partridge in pear tree
Bored of sitting all season
Christmas song now changed

Math: ANSWER

{CCA: Why do I have this feeling that this is going to be a long night? +2}

Scarlet Tanager
Boyfriend giving her drama
He don't give a hoot

Math: ANSWER

{CCA: +2}

Scarlet Tanager
Boyfriend giving her drama
He don't give a hoot

Math: ANSWER

*sorry if this one went through already - my net went down as I submitted*

{CCA replies... Yup... I already got it... That was a plus two.}

The stork brings babies
Drops them off at parent's doors
Better not see me

Math: ANSWER

{Very good: +3 CCA}


Fox sparrow flies by
Thinks he's pretty slick and sly
Has no bushy tail

Math: ANSWER

{Not bad... +2... CCA}

Hyper and pretty
Hummingbird always going
Needs to get Prozac

Math: ANSWER

{CCA: +2}

Beautiful music
Piping Plover plays her flute
Starts up new rock band

Math: ANSWER

{CCA... Jen has gone BONKERS! We're loving it! +2 Come on Monika and the rest... We've got a race on our hands!)}

Nighthawk scans the ground
Wears special official gear
Employed Navy Seal

Math: ANSWER

{Nice... +3... CCA}

Cuckoo bird is strange
Thinks he's a psychiatrist
He needs therapy

Math: ANSWER

{I'd be crazy not to give this one a +3... CCA}

Kingbird is lonely
He needs a queen for the throne
Internet dating

Math: ANSWER

{+2 CCA}

Bluebird shines on stage
Entertains but slips and falls
Turns from blue to red

Math: ANSWER

{Nice: +3... CCA}

Early bird gets worm
Worm is not cooked thoroughly
Bird gets E-Coli

Math: ANSWER

{Superb! +3 CCA}

Whooping crane is strong
He works his muscles all day
He will whoop your crane

Math: ANSWER

{+2... CCA}

White penguin is plain
Other penguins make mean fun
Plain penguin gets tux

Math: ANSWER

{+3... CCA}

Peasant goose sleeps sound
Dreams become reality
Goose is now King Duck

Math: ANSWER

{Can nobody stop Jen? +2... CCA}

Just for you CCA...

Boat buds didn't play
Next time on the water pond
Push them overboard

=) =) =)

Math: ANSWER

{How cruel! ;) +2... CCA}

Just for you CCA...

Boat buds didn't play
Next time on the water pond
Push them overboard

=) =) =)

Math: ANSWER

[b]{How cruel! ;) +2... CCA} [/b] :) LOL

LOLROFL:) Plus three

{Just for you Joni...

Joni is cruel
Next time on the pond I ask...
Joni, go for sail?

+5 for CCA
;) ;) ;)

}

Ha Ha Alan, that does not have anything to do with birds. LOLROF

{Ok... You're right... CCA earns a -5!}

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