UFO Crash Involving Strange Space Bird!
Harwich - Cape Cod, MA - 2/23/08...
Famed ufologist (also a noted cattle mutilation expert, crop circle maven, seasoned ghost hunter, respected crytozoologist, and mean tuba tuner), Dr. Max Testors confirmed today that the small greenish-silver disc shown in the photo below was indeed a UFO.
When asked if the "UFO" might in fact just be an old lid from a salsa jar left by some careless crow, the doctor was emphatic...
"Oh that is absolutely not a lid. It is most definitely an extraterrestrial transport!"
According to this world-renowned authority, the creature that occupied this metallic craft was a "Tufted Testors' Helobird". Testors produced his drawings of the "ET Bird", both living and dead.
Max continued,
"Aside from being from another planet, "Tufted Testors' Helobirds" really are remarkable creatures. I've measured their "rat-a-tat", "tippy-toe" land locomotion and they seem to be able to sustain a velocity of almost 60 miles per hour - though it takes them several hundred miles to reach those speeds due to exceedingly poor acceleration. Also, the flight characteristics are unique in that the wings spin freely around the slight torso like a propeller on a beanie. But of course the thing that really draws the military to this bird is its ability to churn effortlessly through the water at speeds up to 185 knots. The Navy keeps these birds in its secret test labs in Groton Connecticut."
When asked about how the more established scientific community receives his theories concerning the "Tufted Testors' Helobird", Prof. Testors was equally confident,
"Oh, by "established scientific community" I assume you mean those poor old "Area 51" hucksters. Just six months ago, I provided conclusive proof that Area 51 is nothing more than a military cookie factory!"
With daylight running out, and preparation for an impending zombie hunt nearing, the good professor ended the interview abruptly with these words of wisdom...
When explanation is in short supply, try a little Testors... That's what I do!
By the feeders... Reporting for Beakly World News,
CapeCodAlan
P.S. Next time we'll have some fantastic (and real) starling photos for you...
Comments
What did Mrs. CCA put in your
Wheaties this morning?!?!
That was one of the best belly-laughs I've had in a long time! (Especially the art work!) Thank you, thank you!
{CCA replies... We don't need no stinking Wheaties! Electroshock therapy does wonders!}
Posted by: Jo | February 23, 2008 9:10 PM
Ok, that was just hillarious!!! Thanks for the laugh!
Although I am a bit scared for you, more so for Mrs. CCA and Toby... *raises eyebrow*
{Thanks! The sad thing is that Toby has no idea of the "UFO Menace" lurking just outside... CCA}
Posted by: Jen | March 1, 2008 1:18 PM