Don't get me wrong... I don't hate birds... Not at all. They give the wife and I great pleasure and peace. And that's especially true when they actually show up. By now, I was expecting to produce an eye popping close up of a hummingbird... Instead, we get a stock chickadee...
I know the hummers are around here. Take a look at the hummingbirds.net map...
Maybe I should make up some t-shirts that read, "I went to Cape Cod to look at Ruby throats and all I got was a chickadee and this stupid shirt!"
And following right behind the no-show hummingbirds in the "Uncooperative Parade" is the flicker who's determined to shred our chimney. At least twice a day, I have to go out and shoo away that dumb critter as it tries to crack open a new home in a place where he really doesn't want to be. So I have to walk out and basically yell at the roof. (What the neighbors must think... "Yup, there's crazy ol' CapeCodAlan shouting at the shingles again... It's a shame he went around the bend so young...")
But I guess this is the fate and allure of backyard birding -- sometimes you get lucky and simply miss an award-winning photograph, and other times, your beloved creatures try to tear your house apart... That reminds me of a National Lampoon poem -- a takeoff on the old faithful, "Desiderata..."
You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here.
Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss, and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do.
Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
and despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
Remember The Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you -
That lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore. It will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan.
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time, call 606-4311. Ask for Ken.
Take heart in the bedeepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
And reflect that whatever fortune may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.
You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore, make peace with your god,
Whatever you perceive him to be - hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.
Crazy ol' CapeCodAlan mumbling by the feeders
Cornell Ornithology Laboratory: Inside Birding
Cornell Ornithology Laboratory: All About Birding
Live eBirdseed.com streaming cam
eBirdseed.com photo library
eBirdseed and misc. references
Other birding references